Musical Ladders

If You Lean on Me..

Posted by: Lilo Lale on: September 24, 2007

Today wasn’t a bad day. It was frustrating though. All in and all I felt somewhat good most of the day. I finished some things I needed to finish. Not super productive but good progress was made. I also have an interview this week for a job I’d really like. So, I’m excited and nervous.

Today, my friend Dependent called. This is nothing new. She calls often. This isn’t really a problem, but she’s the type that when she does call the phone calls last 30 minutes to an hour. She just talks about whatever. The phone call always starts with what are you doing. Not in the general sense of what are you up to, but just what are you doing? Let’s see I’m standing in the kitchen talking to you? I don’t call people to ask them what they are doing. Maybe my mom but that’s about it. This always lets me know that the phone call has no real purpose. It’s just a talk session. She’s under a lot of stress because of a family member’s screw up among other things.

Well today it was a talk session but also a plea for financial assistance. I don’t mind helping people out. I do it often. Probably too often cause I always end up feeling shafted by those people, ya know. Yes, it’s great that you can come to me repeatedly for help, but when I need help can I count on you? No, not really. You can’t handle your own stuff.

Does that sound selfish? I don’t mean it to be. I really truly like helping people and don’t have a problem helping a friend. If I offer to help you, it’s sincere. There are some people that I know are good on their word, and I know they would do the same. I trust them.  I know if they take help, it’s truly a last resort. Not just an easy way out.

The truth is I would have a little bit more sympathy for her if it weren’t for the fact that she blew $500 on drugs to deal with the stress she’s going through. $500 freakin’ dollars? on drugs? WTF. I mean come on. It’s called priorities.

But who am I to judge..

She wants me to spend this weekend with her. I really don’t want to. I didn’t want to before today, but now I really don’t want to. I really don’t want to talk to her right now either. I’m not pissed or anything. I just need alone time. She’s disrupting my life.

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